The Joke Thread

humour

#1

In which we tell funnies


#2

what’s brown and sticky?

a stick!


#3

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Pokémon trainer walk into a pub.

The Englishman orders a pint of ale, the Irishman orders a pint of Guinness and the Pokémon trainer orders a pint of Tennent’s Special Brew.

Three flies come along and each one flies into one of the glasses.

The Englishman pushes the beer away and says “How disgusting! Barkeep, bring me another!”

The Irishman shrugs his shoulders and continues drinking, saying “If the good LORD didn’t want us to drink flies, he wouldn’t have made them fly into pints of Guinness!”

The Pokémon trainer grabs the fly out of the beer and shakes it furiously, screaming “SPIT IT OOT, YA WEE THIEVIN’ BASTARD!”


#4
why do women have boobies?

so you’ve got something to look at while you talk to them


#5

Without nipples, boobs would be pointless


#6

NAACP is an acronym for “Nigger Association for the Advancement of Coon Primates or National Association for the Abortion of Colored People.


#7

Once in a million years, a shitty website will tell a funny:

Two Syrian refugees compete to see who can become the most English in three weeks.

After three weeks the Syrians meet again at a McDonalds. The first Syrian makes his case for him being more English by saying: “Every day I have taken my son to football practice and my daughter to dance class. I’ve recently started going to the pub and drink pints of Carling and every Friday I have fish&chips. My favourite football team is Manchester United. Beat that!”

The other Syrian simply replies with:

Get out of my country, you fucking paki cunt.


#8

Oi you got a loincence for that joke m8??


#9

i have a lolicence~~~~~~


#10

No one knows what caused the Notre Dame Fire, but Quasimodo has a hunch!


#11

What does the fox say?


#12


#13

no


#14

Wow, we’re reaching necro levels I didn’t think we’re possible!


#15

The fack you’ve been?


#16

On the internet making stuff.


#17

Where so I can keep in contacto. It’s been too long.


#18

Here.
Though to be honest after reading the political thread I doubt we’ll have much to talk about. No offense but I’m a pretty liberal dude.


#19

a wild peter appears


#20

I get along pretty well with liberals, just lets not talk about race and rather or not societal decline exists.